Blood Sausage

by David Such

And then she said those words which every man dreads to hear, “So what are you thinking?”

Sam Blood blushed, his eyes darted around the room, and unconsciously he began to reach for his holstered side arm but then quickly clasped his hands instead. Sam’s bulging biceps looked like to two pythons wrestling under a blanket. “Well, eh, I,” he mumbled.

He blew a quiet sigh of relief as his uCom beeped for attention. Blood glanced down at his utility belt. “I gotta fly,” he said to his girlfriend, “we just received a priority tasking order and Georgia’s outside. We’ll talk when I get back. Definitely.”


“What is it with woman and this compulsive need to know what you’re thinking?”

“Blood you need to get your mind in the game,” replied Georgia, “are you getting anything on the sniffer?”

Blood tapped the signal tracer on the dash of the flitter. “Nope, not a sausage. I miss the old days when foiling a bank heist was simple. Go to the bank, shoot the bad guys, job done. These days banks are virtual and the bad guys are dweebs.”

“Who are you kidding? You’re not old enough to remember banks. So what’s this problem with Jes?”

“Damned if I know. She tells me about these problems she’s having, then I come up with these outstanding solutions but it just seems to piss her off. I’d have more success communicating with an Andalucian Cuttlefish.”

“You idiot, it’s obvious …” Georgia paused when the tracer tone began to vary, “wait a second I think we have a lock.”

Blood tapped the screen and then read out the co-ordinates from the sniffer.

“Hang on,” said Georgia as she banked the flitter sharply.


Blood’s thumbprint opened the weapons hold on the flitter. As he reached for the Obliterator 9000 Georgia said, “You can’t take that, we only have tasking for level 2 damage levels. Any more than that and they’ll dock our success fee. Just use your Glock D.”

“C’mon, they’ll never know. I never get to use the 0b9.”

“That’s because the last time you did you levelled a city block. Close her up, we need to keep the damage to a minimum. Let’s go before the dweeb makes like a tree and leaves.”


Blood held his infrared sensor pack against the wall. He could see a vague red blob moving around inside. “The bear is in the woods,” he whispered.

“Would you stop with that crap?” Georgia snapped. “On my signal we breach, you go left.”

Sam watched her bend over as she attached a shaped charge to the door. Those coveralls sure were tight.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Sam replied, “but before we do this can you just finish what you were saying in the flitter about Jes?” Blood looked hopefully at Georgia, but she just rolled her eyes and drew her gun. Smiling, she detonated the charge.

Blood didn’t have time to cover his ears and was partially deafened by the blast. “Bloody Hell,” he swore as he followed Georgia through the shattered doorway. Drawing his weapon he began laying down covering fire for his partner. He shot anything that looked like it might explode spectacularly. Ozone filled the air as incandescent bolts of lightning shot from the Glock D. Sam was pleased to see that some small fires had started amongst the tattered furniture. A faux fur rug started to smoulder and added its acrid tang to the smoke filled room. He blew a hole through the wall he was facing. Hallways were for wimps plus that was what people expected you to use. In the next room he found his partner with the dweeb secured and face down on the floor. It looked like the poor sucker had a bowel malfunction in all the excitement.

Blood fired off a few final bolts into what looked like pretty expensive computer equipment. Georgia seemed to be shouting something but it was hard to hear over his ringing ears. Gradually he began to make out her words.

“You bloody idiot. Those computers contained all the evidence. Don’t you ever think? Sometimes the best course of action is to not act! This is why your girl friend is so pissed. Try just listening; she doesn’t want you to solve her problems, just to share them with you. You are so stupid…” Blood tuned Georgia out as she started to repeat herself. Could it be that simple he thought? He just needed to listen? Well it was worth a try.


Sam smiled as Jes snuggled into his arms. “You are so understanding,” she said. “I never knew that you were so sensitive.”

“I just want to share everything,” Blood replied.

That was tougher than he thought it would be. He desperately wanted to interject and tell her what to do as she rambled on about her issues. It was an agony, but he restrained himself. He was very proud of himself, he had become a SNAG.

Copyright © 2008 David Such.
First published in our Infinitas Newsletter, September 2008.

This page last updated 20th July 2009.